Let Love Change For the Better

I’m actually getting sick of all the celeb gossip when it comes to failed marriages, pointless money grabbing divorces and the attention seeking divorcees, who later reconcile via text messages only to end up in last week’s columns and end it all yet again. Growing up I was one of those little girls who lived in a fantasy world created by Disney, hoping to fall hopelessly in love with my prince charming. Most people, usually angry people, would say that Disney and such other groups “Lie to our children!” but I don’t think so. Due to how horrible, unstable and crappy the world is, especially when depicted in glossy magazines, we need something to shield the young minds and the all seeing eyes of our young generation, so thank you Disney. I’d feel good knowing my little sister continued being obsessed with all things pink and Hello Kitty until she was in her teens, as I wouldn’t have to worry about the talks of “Why won’t anyone love me?” or “Why do people think it’s okay to kiss other people on the lips instead of their husbands or wives?” (Those are just a few of the questions my 7 year old sister has asked me). I often ask these questions myself. Why is it okay?

Plato once said “Love is a serious mental disease” and I can’t agree more. It is a disease, especially if it ends up as an addiction. Any therapist will tell you that you need to understand both sides of a coin before you go ahead with any major project. I think love happens to be one of those major projects in life. Lots of people fall in love, and it’s that feeling that can make or break a person. I’m lucky to have friends who are happily married with or without children. I love seeing a woman smile when she’s in thought thinking about something small her husband/boyfriend did, because it makes me hopeful that one day, when the timing is right I’ll be smiling like her. I like seeing my old guy friends in a happy and stable relationship, as they become like little boys all over again, and that makes me feel I’m definitely a young woman that would make a guy proud too. All this hopeful thinking is what makes love an addiction to me. I get a sort of ‘high’ when I meet someone. I get all weird and blushy, I can’t stop smiling like the Cheshire Cat. My crushes get so intense, that when things don’t go the way I thought they would, I literally come crashing down. I end up in the self dug pit and sulk over how loveless my life will be.

Sadly, I’ve only had one relationship; it was long distance and lasted 5 months. I’ve not had any major practice with love, but I’ve heard and read enough to pretend like I know what it is all about. I get by. These days, and hopefully this year, I’ll learn what it is to be single and how to enjoy it properly without going overboard (the cuts are killing my purse, budget people!). There are magazines I love like ELLE and Marie Claire that give me enough information on love, relationships and how to be single without a morsel of sleaziness. They are what I call the ‘ideal ladies magazines’ because of their focus on women and they have practically raised me, alongside The Times and The Guardian. Without them I wouldn’t be a strong minded woman. I’d be one of those women who couldn’t live without a man or worse couldn’t live without insulting a man just for the sake of it. I’d be crazy… or in the middle of ending a relationship where the word ‘trust’ is only ever heard on Jeremy Kyle. I have already started teaching my little sister about the benefits of clothes and looking good.

When I hear about how some celebs are divorcing or breaking up, I can immediately see if they want to publicise it (depending on how much they could earn being non-human) or if they want a quiet break up with minimal tabloid interest. It’s the people I read about having quiet break ups that I don’t mind being role models for young people. Yeah the relationship broke up after so many years; at least they tried and tested their love until it was no more. It’s the weirdoes who get married in front of the TV and divorce days later (in front of the TV) that bug me. Little girls especially will see these fabulous looking women and think its fine to end a marriage without jumping over the first hurdle together. Young boys will think its fine to call a woman a whore whilst sleeping with half of the town when all his girlfriend or f*** buddy has done is look at a guy for a second. It’s not okay. Obviously no one up there would give a monkey but as one in a billion people down here, if you know young children, seriously take them under your wing. Let them know that life is hard, but they have to be smart in order to live it properly and to the fullest. Teach them and hone their skills. Don’t let them be the ditsy idiots of the future.

This media culture is fast becoming the new religion of the world, and don’t get me wrong I like some of the gossip that comes from it, but I prefer fashion and beauty tips. Marriage is slowly becoming “the opium of the people” and I’d like it to go back to what it was years ago. Please.

 

Essays… My Battle So Far

I never realised how hard writing a ‘focused’ essay would be. Normally, some would give me a subject to write about, with my own ideas, thoughts and feelings. That’s easy. I’ll write or talk about the subject drawing from my own experiences or I’ll use tried and tested methods from other people. That would be regarded as research. I’m keen on being a writer, as it was my plan A back when I was studying film, and even though it has taken a few years to finally feel like I’m getting somewhere with my words, I didn’t realise how tough some subjects, or at least how you would approach something enough to write about it.

Here is my main problem, I can’t focus well enough! Focusing, as a creative airhead is very hard, but I can do it. When you study English literature at college and university level there is a lot to comprehend. Whatever you may think about spending two to three years reading nonstop, writing analytical studies, writing your own pieces and trying to memorise quotations that can quieten a crowd may seem easy and make you feel care free, but I can guarantee my optimism did not soften the blow. I find it hard. Okay, that’s a lie, English literature is fine, the analysis’ I make about poetry and the texts we have to remember are great, but imagine being told by examiners’ that you have to focus on one tiny detail in a vast book. I could write about anything! Anything I tell you, but that one tiny subject requires you to be clever and tactful. The examiner doesn’t want a book review; they want you to write about this subject until your fingers bleed. Oh jeez… I’m repeating myself.

I call myself a creative airhead, and what I mean by this is my lack of concentration on just one subject as I want to make links and comparisons with everything. For example, let’s look at The Da Vinci Code. Most people have seen the movie and read the book (and here is my airhead sentence) I really liked them both. You can pick up the main subjects that feed the story, like the hunt for the grail, the focus on the main character Robert Langdon is crucial and perhaps look at the albino monk. For me, and I think most people those would be some of the main focus points and you could easily write a study about the book, chapter or character. However, what is expected are analytical studies on the locations, the clothes, the thoughts and feelings of lesser characters like Andre Vernet or Lt. Jerome Collet. That seems easy enough when you look at it, and sure you could write all day and night about who they are and how they impact on the importance of the story, BUT, you are limited. You can only write about one or two aspects of the chosen subject and not the other irrelevant stuff even though you know those points could be relevant. I end up waffling on about other stuff, and that’s what limits my potential grade.

At the moment we are focusing on the World War One themes in poetry, plays, TV shows and a set storybook text. We had just over a month to finish an essay focusing on one such factor by comparing and analysing this subject on a play and TV show. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written and re-written this essay. I want to get it absolutely close to perfection as I can get it. I do sit and wonder why I get so caught up, and my friend even asked me the other day. I get wound up, because I’m working toward a career that will make me happy, and weirdly the jobs I hope to obtain require a lot of focused writing. Journalism, script writing and writing aren’t always easy, but I’m thankful I’m getting practice at this moment in time. I think of it this way, ‘If writing this essay is hard, I’ll have to do my best and get used to it as I’ll be writing essays like these 10 years from now for my pay check’.

All I can do for the moment is study and keep the waffling to my blogs!

New Year, New Start

Normally I’d look at lots of other blogs for inspiration and ideas into what new skills I can achieve for the first month of the New Year. A month seems short but in reality there aren’t many people who actually fulfil their New Year’s resolutions, and knowing me I’ll start something and within 2 weeks move onto something else… This leaves my original plan floating in suspended orbit around my head. One example of this would be my super random and weird videos that not only boring and long, but incredibly unorganised and messy. They make total sense to me, but a lot of other people do leave after 2 minutes thinking up ways to eradicate the trauma they’ve just let themselves into. I shall be trying to make my videos more ‘hip’ so audiences will benefit from a lively person rather than a boring old moo. [I have noticed the amount of zazz and good looks on Youtube, and since I am no sexy blonde or brunette so I shall have to rely on my va-va-voom].

I’m still new to blogging about other topics that inspire me, as I’m doing a little better than okay on my other blog and channel. I know what I want to do for this blog, but so far it’s been a test. It’s been working quite well, and I want to keep it up. I don’t have a schedule, but I would like to focus on a series of topics each month alongside my film music, fashion, food and book/comic reviews. So far, porn will find its way on my agenda as it’s something I don’t know much about and I would like to make up my own mind about it and what it presents to people. I also want to read up on various articles and write my response here, as the space they give for writing comments is still small and I have a lot to say (sometimes). Who knows? I just hope this will be Harlequin’s year.

For this year, well every year in general I have written up resolutions that I intend to keep. I make it a rule that I can add or take away suggestions at any time during January, with the knowledge that I can create a very realistic list. I don’t put things like ‘Climb Mt. Everest’ or state that I want to lose another stone, because those won’t work for me. I love Snickers, Chomp and white chocolate, other than that, I dislike chocolate. I put things like ‘Get a new tattoo’ or ‘Compile new recipes and try at least half of them.’ I enjoy writing lists, followings lists and organising lists. This year I shall share with you my top 5 resolutions which include one thing that may not happen for my arty and culture obsessed life. Another 5 will be located on my other blog here.

Top 5 Harlequin Resolutions

• Build up more of a repertoire! Only two of my videos has been successful as information videos, so I can work on this.
• Finish college, and prepare for my last year next year whilst applying for university for the 50^th time.
• Get my own place to live, and turn it into a creative pad.
• Own 10 pairs of Dr. Martens (I’m just over half way…)
• Dye my hair and reinvent my wardrobe for the summer!

I have many more listed in my journal. This year I need a complete renovation. I need to be more spunky, fun, crazy and wild!

What are your resolutions?

Sy Calaelen

Am I Beautiful?

Don’t answer that! Its a question you have to ask yourself. When you do, remember only you can validate that, and it may take a while before you believe it, I know from experience.

This will be a short post folks, but hopefully I’ll get my point across. Bare with me.

What do you see and feel when your standing still, watching other men and women on TV or around you on the High Street? Do you blend in or are you unique and quirky in your own way?

I’m quite a judgmental person to myself. I don’t like to be, but simply saying “I’ll get over it” is easier said than done. I feel that what I do and how I choose to live will be judged by other people in a negative way, and for some reason I feel great. Living a life that is different to other people makes me happy. I’m not a sheep so much, so I’ll do my best not to be late and be polite (if need be, though on the tube, get out of my way!) And I’m not a wolf, I like being unique so don’t follow me… I’m weird stuff! I see myself as a cat. I am pretty solitary, eat when I feel like it and play when the need arises. At the same time I like to be in company and share things (except for shoes, clothes, bags and make-up… So don’t ask). I like feeling like I’m wearing the right shoes to stomp the world in.

I am a giant, so no stores provide clothing for me. I have a beautiful hour glass frame with chocolate skin with the odd rose glow accompanied with bronze. I practice witchcraft, sport tattoos and love the look of my book shaped nose. But these aspects aren’t ‘normal’ to our sheep herd of a society and I want to make a point that I’m not part of it… So much. I take from it what I like and ignore what I don’t. What makes me proud and beautiful is knowing there is more to me than meets the eye, and I wonder what makes you beautiful.

Well?

Sy x x

Love Letters To Myself

Last night, and this morning I watched the film Beautiful Lie’s starring Audrey Tautou, Nathalie Baye and Sami Bouajila. I wasn’t sure what I expected to see, as romantic films are a new venture for me. I hoped that the story wouldn’t be yet another girl meets boy and she messes everything up in the middle, with a bittersweet ending with boy telling girl he loves her after she has apologised. Funny thing is though, this film is quite similar except with a slight character twist and the unpredictable events. It’s a beautiful film, and all fans of Amelie and Coco Before Chanel will love it (especially as the director of the latter film has directed this one). I love it, and highly recommend it.

In fact, after watching it I became inspired to sit and write a few love letters to myself, and I thought about how I could introduce this film to a friend who is an avid film lover like myself – that is the tricky situation I will try to work out… he hates romantic films!

Beautiful Lies (2011)

The idea of writing love letters to myself is something I’ve thought about doing, but I never really sat down and ever planned one or wrote one. I didn’t see the point of writing letters about love since I had no positive understanding of it, and now that I’ve experienced it briefly with a Belgian man it seems I still have a lot more to learn. Besides, I’m 23 – I feel I’ve missed out of valuable years of learning already and I’m not getting any more chances to try again.

What goes in a love letter? How do I start one? How do you make the other person quiver at the sight and sense of your words? These are the questions I’ve been asking myself and to be honest I’m stumped. I can’t say ‘I love you,’ or ‘You are my sunshine…’ as I’ll be writing to myself. I want to feel the words leave my mind and see them on the page. I want my heart to flutter every time I refer to it in the future… I want it to be so fleeting that if I forget, it will brighten up my day when I’m feeling lost, low or bored.

Daily affirmations have come into my head; maybe I can write an extended affirmation and post it to myself? Writing about myself, writing about my body, my mind and the things that make me happy, however I’ll have to limit myself as I don’t want it to be too revealing. The love letter in Beautiful Lies is, well, beautiful. Watching the reaction of the characters’ once they had read the letter themselves was enough for me to wonder what it would be like to receive one. I’ve never had one and I highly doubt I ever would as classic romanticism is hard to find unless you are rich, if you are then you can pay for it.

For the following 7 days, I’m going to test something. I’m going to write several letters of love to myself, and possibly add that little bit extra with letters of self-love back. Who knows what I could find out? This could be a very positive project.

Have any of you written love letters to yourselves? Or sent one anonymously?

I’m Going MIA For a While

I have been super busy with college, work, family etc. I’m also dealing with my break up, but I’m doing better than i was. So in the meantime, feel free to email me as normal on here, Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. I’m really sorry I haven’t been around, but once I get back into some sort of schedule I’ll be back and well. Things are a little hectic here at the moment so I have to take my time =]

Enjoy the videos =]

Apart from the shopping vids above, I’ll be filming when i cana nd uploading when I can. Its the writing for my blogs and website and other places that’s getting itchy around my head. Bare with me =]

I can’t get this song out of my head, it was from an old friend who someday I hope to reunite with =]

Kisses x

SUB to Harlequin.Days OFFICIAL CHANNEL :: Mmmm

TheHarlequinDays :: New Intro Videos!

Yay! I finally have two new videos up, but sue to how weird I am i had originally filmed 12 others but have decided to re-film some of them and scrap the others. I quickly made these videos, so make sure to comment and thumbs up if you like my ultra dumb editing =] Kisses x

See you all again soon =]

Me! Eeek!

Still Unavailable :: Reasons to Stay Single [video]

I’m still feeling the single blues… and this is the first time I have decided on taking the advice of Charlotte from SatC, she said to spend half of the time you were with someone feeling like crap before you get back up and just get on with your life – but obviously if it was a long relationship then give yourself a month tops! For example, if you were in a relationship that lasted 2 weeks, then mourn for a week and move on, but if the relationship was a year… spend 1 – 6 months mourning then get up and be single for a while [that does not mean you should sleep with anyone for the sake of the modern 'single' life] and just have fun.

I saw this video and thought it would be cool to share with you [I've posted this to my pagan blog too] – Part of it is in German, my apologies, I speak German so I understand what’s being said, but I assume the CC works for those of you who want to follow [bare in mind German, Latin, French and the Nordic languages gave birth to modern English so some words and phrases will be easy to pick up - yay!]

As for that, life here seems to be picking up in some areas, like the fact that I start college today! I have a ton of stationary and a few new books on philosophy, World War 1 poetry and magazines to keep me entertained =]

Wish me luck! I’ll blog about it later on…. on tomorrow… ? I downloaded Kasabian‘s latest album so I’m a little preoccupied at the moment… x

My New Mini Pocket Watch :: Ultra Cuteness!

This is my latest pocket watch which I’ll add to my collection. I got in Camden when I went to meet AWitchling and her awesome cousin for the afternoon, I will never forget that day!

Back detail

Front detail

Open detail

We walked around Camden, looking for food, plus it was an update of my fabulous London, some of the best bits, even though it was narrowed down to the Lock and the market. We managed to get some lush continental foods and coffee, browsed the shops and she bought some chocolate coffee beans. I bought this cute mini pocket watch, at a stall that sold so many! I’m trying to collect all kinds of pocket watches, mainly replica’s since the originals are expensive and watches circa 1800s are kind of hard to find. I love it!

Mwah x